short jokes

The Complete Sardarji Encyclopaedia **
Sardarji is buying a TV. "Do you have color TVs?
"Sure."
"Give me a green one, please."
* * * * * *

Sardarji calls Air India. "How long does it take to
fly to Amcritsar?"
Just a sec," says the rep.
Thank you." says the Sardarji and hangs up.

EMPLOYMENT..

Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a
job. He promptly filled the columns titled
NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc.Then he came to the column
"Salary Expected" :
He was not sure as to what to be filled there.
After much thought he wrote : Yes

* * * * * *



A sardar goes into a store and sees a shiny object.
He asks the clerk, "What is that shiny object?" The
clerk replies, "That is a thermos flask." The sardar
then asks, "What does it do?" The clerk responds, "It
keeps hot things hot and it keeps cold things cold."
The sardar says, "I'll take it!" The next day, he
walks into work with his new thermos. His sardar boss
sees him and asks, "What is that shiny object with
you?" He said, "It's a thermos flask." The boss then
says, "What does it do?" He replies, "It keeps hot
things hot and cold things cold." The boss said, "Wow,
what do you have in it?" The sardar replies, "Two cups
of coffee and a coke."

* * * * * *
A Sardar took an answering machine home and fixed it
home somewhere in Rajasthan, but two days later
disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai "

* * * * * *


Once there was a meeting of all the Surd freedom
fighters. They were planning for free Punjab.
Santa Singh raised a point, "Oh..we'll get Punjab
from India but how would we develop it?" That was a
difficult question indeed. Suddenly Banta Singh plied,
"No problem! we'll attack USA, it would take over us
and then we would be a state of USA and we'll
automatically get developed." All the surds became
happy on this very simple solution but an old surd did
not utter a single word. Someone asked him why he
wasn't happy. The surd replied, "OH! THAT'S ALRIGHT
BUT...WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF BY CHANCE WE TAKE OVER USA
?????" =============================================

Sardar went to the appliance store sale and
found a bargain. "I would like to buy this small TV,"
he told the salesman. "Sorry, we don't sell to SARDARs,"
he replied. He hurried home removed his turban and
changed his hair style, and returned to tell the
salesman "I would like to buy this TV." "Sorry, we
don't sell to Sardars," Salesman replied. "Damn, he
recognized me," he thought. he went for a complete
disguise this time, haircut and new hair color, new
outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before
he again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy
this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to Sardars," he replied.
Frustrated, he exclaimed "How do you know I'm a
Sardar?"
"Because that's a microwave," he replied.


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

* * * * * *

How do you measure a Sardar's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

* * * * * *

What do you do when a Sardar throws a hand grenade at
you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.


* * * * * *
What do you do when a Sardar throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy....he's got a hand grenade in his
mouth.

* * * * * *

How do you make a Sardar laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

* * * * * *

What is the Sardar doing when he holds his hands
tightly over his ears?
Trying to hold on to a thought.

* * * * * *

Why do Sardars work seven days a week?
So you don't have to re-train them on Monday.

* * * * * *

Why can't Sardars make ice cubes?
They always forget the recipe.

* * * * * *

How did the Sardar try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.

* * * * * *



What do you call a sardar who drinks only beer?
Just-beer Singh ('T' silent!).

* * * * * *

What do you call a sardar who has only one drink?
Just-one Singh.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?
They think their picture is being taken.

* * * * * *

Why does Sardar have "TGIF" written on their shoes?
Toes Go In First.

* * * * * *




How do you get Sardar on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the house.

* * * * * *

"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardar looked skyward and said "Where, Where?

* * * * * *

What do smart Sardar and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

* * * * * *

Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman as
opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.

* * * * * *

TO LOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight
kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34
kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called
the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he
had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."

* * * * * *

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA..
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway
station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: "Can I take this train to
Ludhiana?"
"No," answers the Railway man.
"Can I?" asks Gani Singh.

* * * * * *

A sardarji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the
Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat
when his friend asks him "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai?
Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema
hi to hai" Sardarji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal
hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai,
usko kya pata "

* * * * * *

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the
railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him.
Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai ye sab kyon leke
baithe ho?"
Sardarji replies
"Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun"

* * * * * *