jokes 5..

Surgical Subject

So, it seems this group of surgeons were sitting about
during an interlude, when the usual topic came up...

The first surgeon said:

"Accountants are the best to operate on because when
you open them up, everything inside is numbered."

The second surgeon said:

"Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them
is in alphabetical order."

The third pipes up:

"Try electricians! Everything inside THEM is color
coded."

The fourth sneers:

"Lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and
their heads and their butts are interchangeable."

To which the fifth surgeon, who has been quietly
listening to the conversation while sipping from a
bottle of Jack Daniels (as all surgeons do between
operations), says:

"I like engineers... they always understand when you
have a few parts left over at the end."

********

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through out the class. One day the teacher asked her while she was napping, `Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?`
When Mary didn`t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
`God Almighty!` shouted Mary. Teacher said, `Very good,` and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, `Who is our Lord and Savior?`
But, Mary didn`t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. `Jesus Christ!` shouted Mary.
The teacher said, `Very good,` and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. `What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?`
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted,`If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I`ll break it in half!`
The Teacher fainted.

*********
Choosing a Bride, a Parsee mother was very concerned that her middle-aged
son has not shown the slightest indication of getting married. So one day she called her son to her house. The son came home from work,grudgingly. Upon arriving, he found that his mother had gathered a few beautiful ladies at the house for him to choose as his future bride. The first one was a well endowed
telephonist-cum-receptionist. He immediately commented that: -'Nahiray... amma,they always say....PLEASE HOLD ON, HOLD ON.......' 'The second nominee was a leggy secretary. She was rejected also. Reason being Nahiray.....mamma, this one aaa..., secretary always fond of saying 'PLEASE SLOW DOWN, SLOW DOWN....' By this time, the mother is nearing frustration. She called a
sweet but plain-looking teacher. The son suddenly agreed!!
The mother was surprised and asked:- 'Why this one? The previous two
were lot more better looking!'
He replied :-'Teachers aaa....teachers ghani majani, always say:-
'PLEASE REPEAT, DO IT AGAIN, I Want it done 10
times...SOME MORE, SOME
MORE..!'
His youngest brother (10 years old), was listening quietly to all
this at the other end of the room. Suddenly, he shouted:
'Aare,....female bus conductor more better..they always say.. 'under
jao, aagay jao, aagay bahut khali jaga hai, aur under jao.

**********
COURT DOCKET - CASE OF THE PREGNANT LADY

A lady about eight months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.

This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved
again. The man seemed more amused. When, on the
fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained
to the driver and he had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man
(about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself.
The man replied, "Well your Honour, it was like this..
When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help
but notice her condition. She sat under a sign that
said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming" and I
grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that
said, "Slogan's Liniment will reduce the swelling",
and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a
sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick",
and I could hardly contain myself. BUT your Honour,
when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign
that said, "Goodyear Rubber could have prevented
this Accident"... I just lost it.