judge

> Small Town
> --------------
>
> A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial---a grand motherly, elderly woman. He approached
her and asked, ''Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'' She responded, ''Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams. I've known you since you
were a young boy. And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and
talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount
to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.''
>
> The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, ''Mrs. Williams, do you know the
defense attorney?'' She again replied, ''Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him
for his parents. He, too, has been a real disappointment to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The man can't build
a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state. Yes, I know him.''
>
> At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet voice, he said with
menace, ''If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!''
>
> **************************************************
> A blonde...
> --------------
>
> [I'm a blonde, folks; so I'm allowed. ;-) ]
>
> A blonde, a redhead and a brunette sign up with a tourist group for a chartered-double-decker bus trip to London. There are only 2
seats left on the bottom of the bus, and only 1 seat on the top of the bus available when they board. The young ladies decide to
take turns riding on the top, and flip a coin to see who gets the first turn. The blonde wins the toss.
>
> A couple of hours later, it's the redhead's turn. She takes the steps to the top and sees the blonde, sitting there scared half to
death. She's clutching the seat in front of her so hard that her knuckles are white.
>
> ''What's goin' on?'' the redhead asks. ''We're havin' a grand old time down below, singing and laughing.''
>
> The blonde replies, ''Yeah, but you've got a driver.''