Mr.jones

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell
him his wife's been in a terrible car accident. He
rushes to the hospital, runs into the ER and they tell
him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the
doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a
terribly upset Mr. Jones.

"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what's
happened? How is my wife?" The doctor sits next to him
and says, "Not good news. Your wife's accident
resulted in two fractures of her spine."

"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her
prognosis?" Dr. Smith says "Well, Mr. Jones, her
vital signs are stable. However, her spine is
inoperable. She'll have no motor skills or capability.
This means you will have to feed her." Mr. Jones
begins to sob. "And you'll have to turn her in her bed
every two hours to prevent pneumonia."

Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly. "Then, of
course," the doctor continued, "you'll have to diaper
her as she'll have no control over her bladder and of
course these diapers must be changed at least five
times a day." Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries,
sobs, wails.

The doctor continues: "And you'll have to clean up her
faeces on a regular basis as she'll have no control over
her sphincters. Her bowel will engorge whenever and
quite often I'm afraid. Of course you must clean her
immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid
effluent she'll be emitting regularly."

Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and
beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing
pitiful mass.

Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr.
Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I'm just screwing with
you...she's dead."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~